Pointless.

And so my last dog just passed on 2 weeks ago.
Surprisingly I actually wasn't as upset as I thought I would be.
I guess that's because he's really old and was his health was already deteriorating a lot.
It wasn't like the previous two, sudden illness.
I actually felt... Relieve for him.
His quality of life was already affected.
He could barely see, barely eat, barely walk.
It was more painful watching him struggle every day.

I guess that's it for now, with regards to pets.
As much as I would like to have another dog for companionship, I figured I needed the break from such emotional attachment.
We'll see.

Haven't been in the best of spirits lately.
It's... Hmm.
I can't describe.

I'm doing pretty well at work.
In fact 2014 was my best work year so far.
Achieved a few awards here and there, decent increments and a promotion recently.
But I don't feel... Happy.
I love my project, it's the only thing that is keeping me going.
It's one of my work which I feel so proud of.
But there's only so much it can satisfy.
There are so many other factors.
In fact recently there were a couple of times I was brought so close to the edge.
I was so close to just calling it a day.
Others would probably think I'm crazy cause I've got everything going my way and there's a good path laid out for me over here.
But those close ones who know what actually is going on, they won't say the same.
It just... Doesn't feel... Right.

We work half of our lives away.
Wouldn't it be awful if we stuck to what we're doing even though we were not happy doing it?
Maybe it could take you some where.
But after getting there and looking back, would you regret?

Ah well.
It's one of those moments.

I'm feeling a lot better now.
After I manage to get some breather and some rest.
Also, starting to get myself occupied with the start of trainings.
I'm actually pretty excited about the race!
But. I guess that's cause it gets my mind off stuff.
Feels like there's something I "need" to do and am motivated to do.
That kind of feeling.

Other than that.
I'm actually pretty lost.
There's pretty much nothing else that makes my life "tick".
It's probably why I get frustrated easily, even at home.

I don't know how to "cure" this.
Maybe I haven't found it yet.