technology is too fast for me. o_o

oh great blogger has a new interface.
i am so lost.
seriously, technology is too fast for me.
feels as though i kind of just got the hang of the iPhone, ya know. :/
and i've always thought iPads are pretty much useless cause it's just a bigger version iPhone.
but now i wish i had one.
i've been watching my boss use it and it's like quite convenient!
not a necessity, so no.

anyway, i'm actually sitting on my floor right now!
i recently developed a habit of doing stuff on the floor rather than at my table.
i love it.
feels more... cosy. somehow.
like, i feel like i'm spending some "me" time.
it doesn't feel like i'm doing work.
i'm just... on the floor leaning against something... writing/typing... enjoying the air-con or fan... feeling the cold floor on my ass. :X
hahahahahahaha.
EVERYBODY SHOULD START LEARNING HOW TO USE THEIR FLOORS.
try it and you'll understand why!
oh by the way, lying on the floor like a dead fish feels pretty comfortable actually.
i learnt that when i was sick.
cause i was too tired to go shower after work, so the floor was the only option for resting.

i started last week awesome, and i'm carrying on this week! :)))
yesterday and today was fruitful and therapeutic.
okay let's see.
yesterday i went to work, had lunch with batchmates, did my paperwork, taught my subordinate math, chionged home, did a 5km run, did pull ups and some abs exercise and push ups, dinner with my whole family, had a long hot shower, sleep. :>
today i went to work with a pretty nice breakfast, lunch with batchmates, chionged paper work, had some project discussion, received wedding invitation from colleague, taught my subordinate math, chionged home, did a 2km run with slope sprints, did pull ups and shoulder raises and push ups, dinner with family.
and now i'm spending some alone time before i hit the showers and go to bed!

about alone time...
apart from discovering the wonders of the amazing ass-chilling floor, i learnt that it is important to spend a certain amount of time alone.
alone as in not just being alone somewhere and doing all the stuff that you have/need to do.
but alone to just... be alone and spend time being alone and getting to know yourself better in a way.
it actually allows you to reflect and clear your mind.
i'm not saying you should sit in a corner and just stone.
i usually write in my book, type here, read, or listen to music while flipping stumbleupon.
by the way, it's an awesome, awesome app!!!
go download it! and remember to add self improvement and quotes to your favourites! :)
okay i am feeling kind of lazy elaborating further.
but yeah.
EVERYBODY SHOULD START LEARNING TO SPEND SOME TIME ALONE.
i actually feel more in control of myself now.

let's see...
ah yes! i bought a gym mat. yay!
i used it yesterday and actually spent close to an hour lying on it while waiting for dinner. :X
i want a weighing machine. :/
and i is super cui after falling sick!!!
fitness level dropped till i don't know where. so weak.
and i'm aching like a grandmother already. D:
bad thing is that now i feel all the aches, i don't know if there is pain anywhere or not. -_-"
the last i remembered i still had some throat and neck pain on one side.
ah shall just wait for the aches to subside.
anyway going to go see the doctor again next month for follow up checks!
hoping to get the same awesome doctors. ^_^

side note:
register for bike license.
go for dental check up.
plan for full body check up this year.
book mount rinjani stuff.

okay time for hot shower! :D

ending off with something i came across today which cracked me up!

Love me and i will move mountains to make you happy.
Hurt me, and i will drop those mountains on your f**king head.

hahahahaha

making the best.

i don't feel 100%, and i don't know when will i ever feel 100%.
in fact, i can't exactly remember how does 100% feels. hmm.
but i'll just make the best out of whatever i have, no point brooding over it right? :)

i've just "recovered"!
not just from mono, but from a number of other stuffs too.

physically, i'm basically left with...
left neck ache and swollen glands.
mild middle back and front pains.
throat's sore occasionally but i suspect its cause of a fish bone which i accidentally swallowed the other day.
one reason why i'm not a fish person - i've always had this fish-bone-swallowing thing since young.
i hate it. :/
i feel so, SO much better though.
so much so that i'm thankful that i ONLY have these left. ^_^
hopefully these will gradually subside over time.

emotionally, i was a wreck. really.
when i was ill, tired, and had no clue what was going on.
i felt... helpless.
and even though i was already feeling so terrible, i couldn't do anything.
cause fatigue was hitting me so hard!
all i could think of was that i needed to lie down and close my eyes.
or that i needed the pain killers so bad.
i think i was too tired to even actually break down. -_-"
yet! i didn't like being alone amidst all these.
i thought i would prefer to be alone during times like these.
not being alone was probably the only, and the best, solution i had to keep my mind distracted.
and i guess it's kind of difficult to understand.
cause not even my family understood.
i don't blame them.
i figured you have to go through what i went through to know how it felt.

mentally, it actually taught me a lot of things too.
i guess it was cause i was so tired i couldn't do anything but to lie down or basically stone.
and it gave me a lot of opportunity to think. with what little energy i have left.
can't put them down into words right now.
but i know i have to type it out here about this phase and about those thoughts.
cause i know it's important to remember them.
even if i don't remember them word for word, or the exact points.
i want to remind myself that these actually crossed my mind.
so mel, don't forget.
spend time to pick yourself back up.
then reorganize, review, and rethink. :)

as for my other recoveries!
they're not huge or significant, but just parts that adds up to my life.
i'm actually feeling great right now! :)
great in a sense that... i'm moving forward.
not moving moving forward, but just feeling... a little bit different.

last week i decided that i was going to make myself feel as though the re-start button was being pushed.
starting from the weekends.
i figured it was the only way, or the easiest way, to make myself feel better and to move on.
and well it did! so far so good! :D

i had good dinner and caught Battleship after work on saturday. :)
went for training and spent time with some of my favourite people on sunday.
ran some long overdue errands and collected my very first paddle after very interesting group orientation on monday.
by the way, i am really digging Trivium!!! o_o
and i finally have my own lifevest and paddle after rowing for 8 years.
yesterday, i came home from work, did a 5km run, went for facial with my younger sis before having dinner with my family.
embarrasingly, my very first time running alone around the estate. :X
i came home, changed into my singlet and tights and sports shoes, strapped on my watch, and my iphone to my arm, plugged in my headphone, put on my oakleys, and off i went.
it was actually quite refreshing and enjoyable! :)
hate the traffic lights though. :/
oh and facial was quite shiok, first time too! hehehe
today was less fruitful, i was on course.
i did manage to help a friend secure an interview though, so okay something to feel good about.
ah yes, caught up with old friends at headquarters! :>
came home wanting to do some conditioning exercises but mum was on her way home for dinner already.
ah well, it's mid-week! shall treat it as a break.

hopefully the rest of the week would be awesome! :)

and i can't wait to have a "gym" at home!
i have a pull up bar and 5kg fixed dumbbells.
took my first step in running alone around the estate, so yeah that settles my running "equipment".
jy is gonna give me her extra yoga mat so i can do my exercises on it without feeling the hard floor!
and ah hee is gonna give me his free weights!!! :DDD
am i lucky or what?
just so happen that i was talking about it over lunch on sunday.
and just so happen that he didn't want his long bar, short bars and free weights.
so he's just gonna give all of them to meeeee. i just got to go down and pick them up!
maybe this saturday before training. ^_^
they probably just need some cleaning and sand paper to get rid of rusts and stuff.
but what the heck, excited. :D
now... if only i can add in an ergo somewhere... hmmm.
and did i mention about my own paddle and lifevest already?

alrights!
gonna digest the food a little bit more.
i was actually hoping it'll digest fast and then i can do some conditioning exercises before going for a hot shower and hitting the sheets.
but i guess i ate too much. lesson learnt. :/
awhile more then it's shower and off to sleep!
by the way, i'm really going to get a new, good, super single bed soon.
one of my close cousin is going to do the same cause she recently developed very serious back condition and needs a really good bed.
there's no cure except to manage, which she is doing great so far.
but, i still wish something could happen for her.
oh yes. this reminds me.
one of the many things i learnt.
hope, is better than fear. :)
think we're going to get the beds together next month! :D

life's... good. :)

hmm. or.

life's... awesome.
because that's the way i chose it to be. :)

either way. ;)

One step forward.

One step forward.

Hmm actually maybe a couple steps.

Tomorrow training! Another step. :D

Refresh.

i'm done with feeling messed up and all, especially after mono.
seriously, mono was f-ed up.
i haven't felt so terrible before.
and i guess i'm just sway to have the more severe symptoms.
why can't i just have flu like most people? :(

anyway, my throat's better already, infact on most days it's perfectly alright.
aches are less severe and less often.
i'm definitely feeling less of the fatigue, though i know it's still around.
fatigue was the worst cause i felt as though i couldn't do anything cause i was too tired to even think or concentrate.
i still feel it sometimes, but it's definitely more mild now.
my glands are still swollen, i think it will take quite some time to subside.
spleen? i can't tell. -_-"
hmm. i think i will go back in like say... 2 months just to check on my spleen again.

the doctor gave me 2 weeks of rest, and it's almost over.
tomorrow i start anew!
just going to stop feeling depressed and terrible and freaking move on!

i need to get my life back on track.

I CAN DO THIS. o_o

Another time.

I wish you all the best.

Goodnight world!

Tired.

Screw this.

Hmm

I think i missed the boat...