it's me again.

blogging while my fish is taking a shower. :)

the weekend just whizzed past like that!
had to 'book-in' again.
sad. :(
had a really good time at home... just wasting time away.
even cleaned up my room, changed the bedsheets and all.
too bad i had only 2 days to sleep in.
with the air-con and smarty in my arms.
so fast. :(
can't wait for the next weekend to come!

was talking to jess earlier.

[Jess] talk shit: but actually you sound
[Jess] talk shit: like you don't feel good in the team

hmm. i don't know.
guess i'm really still not used to the culture over here.

today really pissed me off pretty badly though.
we were doing 30 minutes of canoe twist.
well, the basics of all basics is that left and right should be going at the same pace.
am i right to say that?
i'm not asking for too much am i?
that didn't happen last week.
it didn't happen this week either.
and then, i got shot at that we should let the pacers do their job and just shadow.
the thing here is, yes i understand that our job is to shadow.
we shadow, we do our job.
but, we're missing something over here.
a team is not rowing together if both sides are not even going at the same pace!
we can count all we want, but if we're not doing the same pace regardless of that, how do we even row together.
even a freshie without rowing experience knows something is wrong.
why can't we just rectify that once and for all?
no point committing the same mistake over and over again each week.

ahhhh. nevermind.
i should just shut up sometimes.
maybe keeping quiet and just following is a better choice.

but sometimes... i just really want to help.
why would i make myself a devil when i can just stand by and be an angel.
i just want the team to improve, that's all.

then again... maybe i should reflect on myself.
just cause i've been rowing for more than 3 years, doesn't mean i'm right.
especially in a different team, different environment.
i should just try to learn to 'fit in' and go with the flow.
gone were the day where everything's 'orderly', 'straight', 'strict'.
must be more flexible now.
no more military style.
it's "da4 ai4 de4 jiao4 yu4" (using love to educate).
that's what they call it here.
must... learn... -grits teeth-

well, at least i don't have a problem clicking with the freshies.
hey, give me some credit okay... i used to be pretty anti-social.
effort okay. hahaha.
they're very motivated people, i like training with them. :)
at least they won't reject you when you try to push them.
that's the thing with freshies!
everything also don't know, innocent and naive. hahaha.
but i like. :P

my year 1 days in ngee ann was the BEST!
innocent and naive.
seniors say what, then do what.
cause we had a lot of respect for them.
really... no need to think one... just do whatever they say.
cause to us, they are right.

haiyah.
again.
face it! no longer in ngee ann!
-growl-

i just need more time to get used to it.
then maybe i'll gain enlightenment and understand their da4 ai4 de4 jiao4 yu4!
hopefully soon!
cause i'm still very much addicted to rowing.
rowing, as a team. :)

alright.
my fish is back!

34 more days till i see her.
wheeee!

it's been long! i know.
same old, same old.

no time!
extremely busy with school.
quizzes and more quizzes.
-sigh-
2 more quizzes next Thursday and it'll be examinations already.
time really pass so quickly.
and till now, i don't know what i've been studying. hur.

after Regatta, shall get down to some serious studying.
been doing quite badly for my quizzes... means i really got to work harder for examinations.
or else... -sigh-
waste my effort going to university.
just hope i'll get Bs... and okay. maybe some Cs.
nothing below that please. -_-"

race is coming!
Singapore River Regatta 2007!
4th Regatta.
only difference is that i'll be rowing for NTU from now on...
and that i've converted to a right rower.
so... guess it's still considered "virgin" race?

quite excited actually.
cause i really want to know what 2 to 3 months of training can do.
actually the freshies are not prepared at all considering the amount of time to train.
hope it'll be a good experience though.
and maybe, "fire them up". :)
most of us are still at our comfort zone.

just hope that this would be a stepping stone, towards building a stronger Pheonix.

as for me.
i think the long break before joining NTU was good.
helped clear and open my mind a lot.
i think, i'll be able to find my drive back soon. :)
infact, sometimes i already feel it there when i row.
maybe the conversion was really a good choice.
something new, forces the brain to break free from the old.

basically, there's a limit to how much i can do now due to the hectic school life.
will work something out after examinations. :)

guess that it's a good thing to have an experienced rower mingling with the freshies.
at least, i can try to help them when they experience problems.
easier to communicate considering we're from the same batch.
i hope, they'll get to experience the wonders of the sport just like how i did. :)

alright.
it's Vivien time! :D
37 days till she'll be back in my arms!
so can't wait. :D