Seoul Gardens with Terry. :D We had intended to go for Jack's Place initially! But we couldn't find the damn place? The site says opposite Mandarin Hotel... Urh. Opposite where? Seoul Gardens was not bad though I think their standard dropped. The last time I went there was erm... Last year? Some Cedar class outing. It was fun! The good old days... A bunch of us troublemakers. Wonder when will I ever see them again? Polytechnic life sure suck big time without having them as classmates. I don't know what people's talking about and people don't know what I'm talking about. Can only seek consolution through Dragon Boating. -sigh- I think my life's all messed up now. I don't know what do I want anymore. :( Starting to have really contradicting thoughts.
Okay I think I kind of digressed a little too much over there.
Saw Cynthia with her boyfriend while waiting for Terry at the MRT station. Who then told me Linda's there too. And so's Xueli and Dawn who were shopping after work. Tell me it's just mere coincidence? *_*
Met Dawn and Xueli after dinner. Chit chat at Burger King. The both of them are like how racist! What open a saloon called Non-Halal. -_-" Sorry I can't wash your hair cause I just touched pork. My God. So mean! Did chit chat about trainings and stuff.
Hmm... They kind of enlightened me on stuff that I basically never thought about before. If we can force them to do standard female push ups, why can't we force them to do standard male push ups? Why do we have to always bring down our standards to suit each and everybody? Shouldn't we be always moving forward instead of backwards? I don't know why but these questions are starting to sound rhetorical to me. I'm starting to feel weak... Not that my weight loss and shrunken muscles are helping. Don't know why. Maybe I should go self-train soon. Something just seem to be... Missing. But I don't know what is it. :( And I was also told that the other teams are improving like some sonic hedgehog, supplements eater team. I still don't know what stage are we at. Just feel that time is starting to run out... And there's no urgency, no panic, no nothing. I don't get that high feeling during trainings anymore. Maybe cause it's been about a year doing the same stuff over and over again? Or is it cause something's really missing. I don't know. -bangs head on table-
Think I'll go self-train soon. Ah Bao commented that I look leaner now. I noticed that too. :( Look so much smaller. Lost quite a bit of weight too... Am now a mere 47KG with shoes on. Great. Qihui says my arms used to look swollen, but they don't now. Should try not to skip my meals ya? My body's like eating my muscles. But strength wise... I think didn't drop much. 7.5KG... Am never going to touch 5KG no more you hear me?! Unless it's endurance training. Since I've hit my pull ups aim... Next aim - 10KG. That's my aim for this two semesters. I hope I'll be able to hit it. Ah Bao's maximum was 12.5KG. Gosh. And Wanxin and the rest used to hold like 15KG? I should just rot and die. Figured out that it is definitely impossible to be stuck at 5KG all the time? Something's definitely wrong. And when you know something's wrong, what do you do? -pause- Bingo. :)
Ahhh... All the contradicting thoughts are flooding my head and drowning my poor brains! I'm irritated with myself you know? I don't know what do I want anymore. One moment I want this, the other I want that. But this and that can't work out together. So basically I'm just screwing myself upside down. It's so frustrating I feel like killing myself. Someone help me? Think I'll just go hide in a corner and think.
Maybe I just need a break.
Okay I think I kind of digressed a little too much over there.
Saw Cynthia with her boyfriend while waiting for Terry at the MRT station. Who then told me Linda's there too. And so's Xueli and Dawn who were shopping after work. Tell me it's just mere coincidence? *_*
Met Dawn and Xueli after dinner. Chit chat at Burger King. The both of them are like how racist! What open a saloon called Non-Halal. -_-" Sorry I can't wash your hair cause I just touched pork. My God. So mean! Did chit chat about trainings and stuff.
Hmm... They kind of enlightened me on stuff that I basically never thought about before. If we can force them to do standard female push ups, why can't we force them to do standard male push ups? Why do we have to always bring down our standards to suit each and everybody? Shouldn't we be always moving forward instead of backwards? I don't know why but these questions are starting to sound rhetorical to me. I'm starting to feel weak... Not that my weight loss and shrunken muscles are helping. Don't know why. Maybe I should go self-train soon. Something just seem to be... Missing. But I don't know what is it. :( And I was also told that the other teams are improving like some sonic hedgehog, supplements eater team. I still don't know what stage are we at. Just feel that time is starting to run out... And there's no urgency, no panic, no nothing. I don't get that high feeling during trainings anymore. Maybe cause it's been about a year doing the same stuff over and over again? Or is it cause something's really missing. I don't know. -bangs head on table-
Think I'll go self-train soon. Ah Bao commented that I look leaner now. I noticed that too. :( Look so much smaller. Lost quite a bit of weight too... Am now a mere 47KG with shoes on. Great. Qihui says my arms used to look swollen, but they don't now. Should try not to skip my meals ya? My body's like eating my muscles. But strength wise... I think didn't drop much. 7.5KG... Am never going to touch 5KG no more you hear me?! Unless it's endurance training. Since I've hit my pull ups aim... Next aim - 10KG. That's my aim for this two semesters. I hope I'll be able to hit it. Ah Bao's maximum was 12.5KG. Gosh. And Wanxin and the rest used to hold like 15KG? I should just rot and die. Figured out that it is definitely impossible to be stuck at 5KG all the time? Something's definitely wrong. And when you know something's wrong, what do you do? -pause- Bingo. :)
Ahhh... All the contradicting thoughts are flooding my head and drowning my poor brains! I'm irritated with myself you know? I don't know what do I want anymore. One moment I want this, the other I want that. But this and that can't work out together. So basically I'm just screwing myself upside down. It's so frustrating I feel like killing myself. Someone help me? Think I'll just go hide in a corner and think.
Maybe I just need a break.
posted by melch at 12:54 AM
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